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I promise I will update this blog at least once a week.
This is a promise of love, not the kind your parents made that they would remember your birthday.
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Lets talk about comedy for a moment. I know, this is supposed to be my vintage fashion blog for which I share all of my vintage fashion loves. But this is important because it has to do with us big girls.
Recently I was in an airport and out of pure boredom I bought the Vanity Fair comedy issue. I usually HATE reading anything of this nature. I don’t like reading about comedians talking about how funny they are or how funny their friends are. Most of all I hate hearing Judd Apatow speak about how prolific he and his comedic cohort are. I don’t mean to look down on the Apatow Empire, but every movie he’s made since Knocked Up has been a audio/visual masturbation session of his awesome life. Here is a Judd Apatow film in a nutshell.
Dudes.
Dudes get in trouble.
Gay jokes.
Hot girl likes dude? So weird!
Oh no, he fucks it up because of all the improvised comedy scenes that are just more gay jokes!
Everything is ok!
(By the way, Judd, please hire me)
I digress!
I read the issue, I kept my cynicism at bay, I ate a mars bar. Then I realized something about all the comedians in the issue, especially the “fat” ones.
Here is the issue covers (there were three DIFFERENT collectible issues! Err merr gerrd!)
First off, holy hell there are actual WOMEN in this issue! Isn’t this the same magazine that published the infamous Chris Hitchens article how women are biologically UNFUNNY? Read that here. Good show, Vanity Fair, good show.
This isn’t the part that irked me. What irks me is on the first cover, the hilarious Melissa McCarthy is pictured in some weird, frumpy costume and looking somewhat terrifying.
I don’t think people word normally see this and think it frustrating, like I do. What’s the big deal, Jenny? She’s just being funny, isn’t she? She’s a comedian, that’s her job!
It’s also Amy Pohler’s, Kristin Wiig’s, Maya Rudolph’s, Judd Apatow’s wife (her name escapes me, so does anything else she’s been in) And Megan Fox (wtf?)’s job to be comedians (not Megan Fox). Yet, somehow, they’ve escaped the grotesque costume and are completely sexified. Why is that? Why can’t the fat comedian be sexy too?
Here is my rant. Although women in comedy are supposedly in a renaissance of acceptance, the fat ones are still seen as second class citizens. Fat comedians are always portrayed as awkward, ugly, weirdos that are unfuckable.
To illustrate:
Yet, here is the counter:
Don’t get me wrong. All those comedians are hilarious, amazing, and I love them dearly, but the truth is that as a plus size girl there aren’t any sexy plus size comedians. Hollywood has concocted a formula for the fat female comedian that works so well:
When you are unfuckable, you are starved for sex. When you are starved for sex you will fuck anything that moves. When you are desperate, unfuckable, and awkward, you are comedy gold.
Melissa McCarthy does this so well in the movie “Bridesmaids” that was supposed to be some sort of holy grail of female comedies. Yet, it didn’t stray from the stuffy, monotonous drone of romantic comedies where the female lead is nothing without a male counter part. What about a movie where a woman realizes she doesn’t need a man to like herself?! Huh, what about THAT movie?!
It would probably be a boring movie.
Again, I digress.
Melissa’s plays a butch, overly confident, sex starved creature (but with a heart of gold) in “Bridesmaids”. Her performance was stellar, but it drilled in the already known stereotype that being fat is funny, but being fat is not sexy. We watch her on the screen and say “Her overconfidence is so funny because she will never get that guy! I laugh at her pitiful attempts of romance!”. It’s the same trend again and again. Rebel Wilson in “Pitch Perfect”. Awkward, overly confident, starved for attention. Honestly, other examples are leaving me since I don’t even think there have been other roles like that for fat, female comedians.
The media and Hollywood are confusing us. We are told to love ourselves, yet are bombarded by adverts, magazine, and other forms of digestible media that tell us otherwise. If we aren’t thin we don’t get the man. If we don’t get the man we are useless! Lena Dunham is one of the brightest, most talented names in television right now yet she can’t cut a break. There have been countless reviews about her body, her nakedness, and the “unrealistic” idea that her skinny friend can’t get a boy when she can (but she is just so darn fat, how can that be?). Lena, for one thing, isn’t fat. She’s just her. I don’t want to say “normal” because that means being fat isn’t “normal” when in truth there is no “normal” body. Lena is just Lena. And Melissa is Melissa. Jenny (that’s me!) is Jenny. I can’t be any body else’s body, yet on a daily basis I am told I must be or I am not worthy. I will never be enough until I have Megan Fox’s body. I will never get a man, a career, friends, a nice house, money, or anything until I am a 36-24-36 .
But if I want to be funny, well then I’m the perfect shape and size for that. Just make sure I don’t get any big ideas about being sexy or attractive. No no no.
Hollywood, you’re digging your own grave here. The reason why “Girls” works so well is because it is honest, real, and is relatable. Watching Girls, or any TV/Film with strong female protagonists who I can relate to (both mentally and physically) is going to draw me in and make me spend my hard-earned dollars on it. Whether you like it or not, much of your audience is overweight. And to your surprise, overweight girls are fuckable. Extremely fuckable. And not in a desperate way. We are sexy, we have curves, we are desirable and every advantage of skinnier ladies. Men like to have sex with us! (so do other ladies!) They enjoy the soft, roundness which up until recently was desired! You don’t seen any hip bone protrusions in Venus De Milo, do you? I am round, I am pudgy, I am big, and I am sexy! On top of that, I am fucking funny! What a package! That is the sexiest part about these women is that they can make us laugh.
If you can only see things in a monitory way rather than moral, Hollywood, realize that you could be tapping into a huge market of big women who want a role model to feel sexy. Think of all the clothing, perfumes, and tampons you could sell with that sort of marketing. Big is beautiful, Hollywood! You’ll get it once you see how much money it makes you.
Tags: actress, comedian, comedienne, fat, girls, hollywood, jenny z comedy, jenny zigrino, lena dunham, melissa mccarthy, plus size, plus size vintage, rex reed, vanity fair, vintage, vintage fashion blog